Breakfast and the funnies

 

Gentle Reader,

You have been such good little bloggers I decided to fix you all breakfast and read the funnies to you while you eat. Don't be afraid to dig in my food is just like the parable of the loves and fishes. You can never get too much. enjoy and leave me a tip (or at least a note) your cups hanging up waiting for you!

My pastor friend put sanitary hot air hand dryers in the rest rooms at his church and after two weeks took them out. I asked him why and he confessed that they worked fine but when he went in there he saw a sign that read, "For a sample of this week's sermon, push the button

One communion Sunday, my communion steward prepared communion with a twist.  When it came time to uncover the elements the grape juice looked darker than usual.  I thought nothing of it and began to serve the communion. Promptly upon receiving the cup, each recipient's face had a peculiar, stunned look. When it came time for me to receive I discovered why the strange looks...the juice was prune juice! One parishioner stated, "Perhaps this is a Divine commentary on our spirituality...we need a little loosening up!"

The Number of the Beast

OK, we all know that 666 is the Number of the Beast. But did you know:

• $665.95......................Retail price of the Beast
• $699.25......................Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax
• $769.95......................Price of the Beast with all accessories and replacement soul
• $656.66......................Walmart price of the Beast
• $646.66......................Next week's Walmart price of the Beast
• 00666.........................Zip code of the Beast
• 1-666 .........................Area code of the Beast
• 1-900-666-0666 ............ Live Beasts! Call Now! Only $6.66/minute.
• 660............................Approximate number of the Beast
• DCLXVI.....................Roman numeral of the Beast
• 666.0000.....................Number of the High Precision Beast
• 0.666 .........................Number of the Millibeast
• / 666 ..........................Beast Common Denominator
• 666 ^ (-1).....................Imaginary number of the Beast
• 1010011010..................Binary of the Beast
• Phillips 666..................Gasoline of the Beast
• $6.66 9/10....................Price of a Beast gasoline
• Route 666....................Way of the Beast
• 666 F.........................Oven temperature for roast Beast
• 666k..........................Retirement plan of the Beast
• 6.66%........................5 year CD rate at First Beast National Bank, $666 minimum deposit.
• i66686........................CPU of the Beast
• 666i .......................... BMW of the Beast
• DSM-666.....................Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
• 668............................Next-door neighbor of the Beast
• 666 mg........................Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
• Lotus 6-6-6...................Spreadsheet of the Beast
• Word 6.66....................Word Processor of the Beast
• 6 h. 66 min....................Beast Standard Time (BST)
• Boeing 666....................."A jet for the Beast Age"
• Beverly Hills 66666..........Beast's favorite TV show
• 6/6/66..........................The birth date of the Beast
• 666-66-6666..................The Social Security number of the Beast
• 6666............................The PIN of the Beast
• 25.806975.....................The square root of the Beast
• 660..............................Approximate number of the Beast
• Motel 666......................Beast Western
• Windows 96 ver.666.........OS of the Beast 

Remember God loves you and so do I

Denis

One more? OK!  Don't worry about the clean up I'll take care of it!

 

Godless Linguistics

To all Talk.Origins Readers,

Clearly, we can see the very structure of our civilization crumbling around our ears. Sexual perversion runs rampant as our once-proud moral culture slides ever closer to the gaping maw of oblivion. One need only turn on the TV to witness ample evidence of the degradation of our current Godless society, slipping closer to destruction with the wanton disregard for proper diction, and the torrid abomination of corrupted grammar!

Why, just listen to the "music" of the young people these days. Such trash! The words slur together (when they can be understood at all) into a putrid mush of incomplete sentences and split infinitives. It's awful. And it has been PROVEN to induce young people to commit acts of violence, theft, and unwed pregnancy. And surely, it is no mere coincidence that this dire threat to the fabric of our very civilization coincides exactly with the indoctrination of our young people with Godless LINGUISTICS in the public schools.

Our public schools have turned away from the source of Truth, to teach our children that our sacred English language has descended from other languages. The poor impressionable youngsters are taught AS A FACT that English words have certain "root words", even though this is only a theory. The FACT is, God Almighty created all languages complete when he confused mankind's original language as punishment for our transgression at the tower of Babel. But the atheist/linguists don't want this mentioned in public settings, because it goes against their FAITH, and forces them to face their own accountability. So they have BANNED the teaching of Babelism, because they are afraid that it might expose the weakness of their own linguistic ideas. Is this fair? I don't think so. It goes against all that America stands for.

Therefore, join me in the campaign to have a balanced and fair treatment in public education. All English teachers should be required to include Babelism as a valid alternate theory to Linguisticism, whenever the origins of the English language is discussed.

Oh, of course we can expect opposition from the entrenched vested interests. They will point to certain similarities (i.e. "mother", "madre" "mater") as evidence of the relatedness of various languages. But this is a complete misinterpretation of the evidence. Clearly it is more economical for God to use similar phonic structures to designate similar meanings. Therefore, the existence of such similarities PROVES that the various languages must have had the same author.

Second, a language is a complex thing. The odds that some first speaker could randomly string together a complex series of sounds, and then multiply this by the odds that someone else would UNDERSTAND him, and the probability could be calculated to be less than 1 in 10^500. That's a one with five hundred zero's. A statistical impossibility. Obviously, the first language must have a designer: God.

Third, there is NO evidence that transitional languages ever existed. What use is half a language? A noun without verbs conveys no meaning! Sure, there is middle and old- English. But these are ENGLISH! A complete nontransitional language. We do not deny that micro-linguistics can happen, but this process can create only DIALECTS. There is NO EVIDENCE that a series of random micro-linguistic events can create a WHOLE NEW LANGUAGE. I'll believe in Macro-linguistics when I see a video tape of a child growing up in an Eskimo village suddenly become fluent in Armenian! It takes A LOT MORE FAITH to believe in atheistic linguisticism than the truth of Babelism.

So join me in the crusade: Babelism must be included in the public school English curriculum.

There are only two theories which explain the origin of our language: Babelism and Linguisticism. Shouldn't they BOTH be given a fair hearing?

Thank you.

Denis

It's my potty and...

 

I'll cry if I want to!

Gentle reader,

Do you feel trapped? Sometimes I do! Coffee?

Things are just "peachy" Like my new font? Just got it at Wal-Mart (the saving place Ha!) I like to walk up and down the isles and talk to people " Hey, Did you win the lottery?  you must have I see your shopping at the rich peoples store?!"  Or sometimes I find myself drawn to a little old lady looking afraid and confused "Are you looking for the same thing that I am dear? What are you looking for?" And I proceed to help her find what she needs, so that big old store isn't so frightening anymore and people can be friendly and helpful!

How about you Gentle Reader?   Are you in....

 

"Prison"

It may seem like prison.
At that point you have to choose to make your "prison" experience profitable

The Apostle Paul didn't whine or moan--instead God used him to write many books of the New Testament from a prison cell. Make your "prison" experience profitable.
Sometimes you may find yourself in a situation that is very limiting to you.


Even in limited circumstances, Paul kept on preaching the Gospel-even if he had to write it as a letter from a prison cell.

Prison didn't keep Paul from his calling in Christ Jesus-- Neither can "prison" keep you from your calling.

Don't look at your prison-Instead, look at the calling on your life and do what God has placed in your hand to do toward that calling where you are at--so that you can say with Paul-

"None of these things move me." Acts 20.24 

 

And for the few of you left here are some tings to think about I issue you a challenge to really think about these things

Can you understand these things?

Grace is God's Salvation for the Sinner, Supply for the Saint.

Grace is God's Loving-Kindness for the Loveless, the Loathsome and the Lost

As Messiah Christ is related to Israel
As Head He is related to the Church, which is His body!

Do not confuse the bride (Israel) with the bridegroom (Christ the Head)
You are a member of the body of Christ Not the bride!

In Romans the believer is dead and risen with Christ

In Ephesians he is seated in the heavenlies in Christ

In Acts 19:10 we read And this continued by the space of two Years; so that all they which dwelt in Asia heard the word of the Lord Jesus, both Jews and Greeks." BUT in 2 Tim. 1:15 we read "This thou knowest, that all they which are in Asia be turned away from me; of whom are Phygellus and Hermogenes." Why was that?

(focus and try again)

 

Till next time, Love to you and your family,

 Denis

 

Do you know where you can find heaven?

Mirrored tranquillity as mist settles over the upper lake at Glendalough

Lake Glendlough Co Wicklow (Ireland where else)

Gentle Reader,

Well Marti was feeling better and we started our continuing Bible study I am teaching us through the Bible. We are at The books of Thessalonians .

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, (teaching for what true)for reproof, (convicting for what is false) for correction, ( for what is wrong) for instruction in righteousness,(for what is right) 2 Timothy 3:16.

As you look at the New Testament you will find that after the Gospels (which complete the Old Testament you have the Book of Acts (History ) Then the book of Romans (which is our Doctrinal and instructions book teaching about Justification and the cross) and its two commentaries Corinthians (Reproof-Practical failure not seeing the standing as having died and risen with Christ) and Galatians (a Book of Correction- Doctrinal failure as to the teaching of Romans not leaven in the teaching)

We have moved past the Book of Ephesians our 2nd Doctrinal and instruction book which teaches the Mystery of God (always hidden, never before revealed. Individual Jews and Gentiles gathered out and made "one new man" in Christ "the body of Christ" Seated in heaven with Christ.

Of course then we have 2 Commentaries Philippians (which is a book of "reproof" Practical failure to exhibit the teaching of Ephesians in showing the "mind of Christ" and Colossians a book of "Correction" Doctrinal failure The failure of not seeing their completeness and perfection in Christ. But you knew all of that didn't you Gentle Reader?

So as I was saying Thessalonians we just finished which is about heaven another book of doctrine (teaching ) and instruction No reproof, no correction all praise and thanksgiving A typical church

Where is heaven "Where Christ is there is heaven" Look around you Gentle Reader, Christ is in me and now you know why I talk about Grace so much. All Christians carry about the Spirit of the Living Christ with them and we are all connected on a level that only God can maintain. Too deep for you? Well gentle reader I haven't even scratch the surface What is heaven like? look at the picture and magnify that 10 to the ten millionth times ten million times. Ireland for me is just a taste of what heaven is like.

But as it is written: "Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man The things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (I Corinthians 2:9)

For me Gentle Reader, Ireland is what heaven will be like! How about you? Where is your heaven?

Remember, Gentle Reader, that God has prepared a place for you!

"Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me." In My Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. "And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. (Book of John Chapter 14)

When you are forgotten, or neglected, or purposely set at naught, and you don't sting and hurt with the insult or the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ, that is Victory.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving
silence, that is victory.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any annoyance; when you stand face-to-face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility -- and endure it as Jesus endured, that is victory.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any climate, any society, any regiment, any interruption by the will of God, that is victory.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendations, when you can truly love to be unknown, that is victory.

When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, or question God, while your own needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances, that is victory.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart, that is victory.

I believe in You Gentle reader, you are a victor and so am I (we are just not there yet).

Denis Your ticket has been paid for (oh no, don't thank me I 'm just here to deliver it to you)

News and views...

 

Gentle Reader,

Well I see that you came for some fresh coffee this morning. So sorry that you didn’t get to share in the bread that we served yesterday. . Hey before I forget I was ask to conduct the church services at our new apartment building next Sunday (and I didn’t think that I would ever get to preach again!) I attended my first Bible study last Monday (Marti didn’t get to go) but I must say I was a bit disappointed (the tone was such that it was rather simple, I wanted to go a lot deeper) Well maybe that will change in time.

I want to run some things past you as I value your opinion. I read on a blog yesterday that this man was proposing that he and his readers blaspheme the Holy Spirit (trying to prove that God doesn’t exist or something like that! I never block blogs but I did this one. I feel that the bashing of Christians has hit a new low. I mean if I was Islamic I think I’d blow this man his blog and all within the same distance of ground zero to kingdom come (sorry for the religious reference, after all he is entitled to an opinion..... ) however to ridicule ones most heartfelt beliefs is at least BAD manners. Am I angry? (You don’t know me too well if you think that Gentle Reader, ) No... after I got over the shock of seeing such a attack in black and white and red (I saw red) I began to pray for this man (evidently he had an unhappy childhood, or a bad experience from a religious person (note: I did not say Christian) no real Christian would ever treat another person with such disrespect.

We have become such a nation that has utter disregard for the rights of the minority or we forgot the lessons that our mothers taught us to play nice with others. To allow others to display a lack of what my Mither use to call "bringings up"

Why is it that this nation which has "In God we trust" on its money or uses the expression "thank God" when averting a disaster. Or has a national day of prayer for our young men and women who put their life on the line for other races and nations around the world. Why is it Gentle reader, that some lack the responsible attitude to respect the belief system of others. Is this not what America was founded for? The right to be free? The right to freedom to worship as one wished? Or in this case to not worship God or anyone!

So my question to you is other that to pray for this man (He ask not be prayed for on a previous occasion) I did anyway ! Should one attack this gentleman (I use the term loosely) in the same manner as He did. (I know the answer to this already but want your input) Ah well so goes my war against the forces of evil.

More coffee?

Denis

4 Seasons of life

 

Gentle Reader,

Important information

New Blog Hours 12:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. or by guess or by golly! Today you found me at home. To tired to run and to sore to tie my shoes!

Well,  did you enjoy our little life's lessons on love?
 How about Just a little lesson on life itself. Gentle reader Why am I here ? I don't know except that God send us where we are needed? Me? Here? Well O.K. maybe there something I need to see or do or perhaps someone to help or to help me. we are all interconnected you know. Much as we like to think we are independent we are not. we need one another. So today as you drink your beverage of choice (mine's coffee, you knew that didn't you) think about your life where are you going, how are you going to get there? Are you going alone or is there some one you want to take along?  Maybe you might want me to come with you are some else you feel comfortable to tag along your journey through life  I have an suggestion ...t .......

Lessons on Life (Pictures of same scene, different seasons).  

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son he sent in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.

The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

 The Moral Gentle Reader:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come.

"The old things are passing away, behold, all things are becoming new." Jesus

Love you and until next time,

Remember, God Loves you and so do I! You are accepted, you are valued you are Loved!

Denis

What we can learn from Television!

Gentle reader,

things we can all learn from Television TWO great EPISODES of " West Wing"

And Another

Good episodes... The religious right for the most part, have become the Pharisees in the Gospels... they only know rules, rituals, traditions and condemnation... they have the disease of religion! Christ Jesus / God when understood correctly is all about love, mercy, kindness, etc... The Old Testament in a nutshell was God's way of showing what religion produces, whereas the New Testament is God showing what love, mercy, etc... produces. Far to many Christians are stuck in the OT & blinded by religion!

 It's never been about Religion but about mercy and kindness. Something that isn't preached let alone talked about much any more...

Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief. - Oscar Wilde

 

In the beginning the church was a fellowship of men and women centering on the living Christ. Then the church moved to Greece where it became a philosophy. Then it moved to Rome where it became an institution. Next, it moved to Europe , where it became a culture. And, finally, it moved to America where it became an enterprise.--Richard Halverson, former chaplain of the United States Senate

He hath showed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth Jehovah require of thee, but to do justly, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with thy God? (Mic 6:8 )