What do you think?

you might be preacher if...

1. You hesitate to tell people what you do for a living.

2. You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover you were.

3. You've wondered why people couldn't die at more appropriate times.

4. You find yourself counting people at a sporting event.

5. You're leading the church into the 21st century, but you don't know what you are preaching on Sunday.

6. A church picnic is no picnic.

7. You've ever spoken for free and were worth every penny of it.

8. You drive a Buick with more than 100,000 miles on it.

9. People sleep while you're talking.

10. It's Sunday, but Monday's coming.

11. You feel guilty when you go fishing.

12. Instead of being "ticked off," you get "grieved in your spirit."

13. You've been tempted to take an offering at a family reunion.

14. You jiggle all the commode handles at the church before you leave.

15. You'd rather talk to people with their heads bowed and every eye closed.

16. You've ever wanted to 'lay hands' on a deacon's neck.

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

A mother woke her son up on Sunday morning and told him he needed to get ready to go to church. The son replied to his mother that he didn't want to go to church this morning. She told him nonsense he should get up and go to church.


"But mom" he replied, "Everybody hates me, the sermons are boring and none of my friends ever come."


His mother replied, "Now, son...! First, everybody doesn't hate you, only a couple of bullies and you just have to stand up to them. Second, the sermons mean a lot to many people. If you listened to them, you'd be surprised at how good they are in helping people. Third, you have lots of friends at church. They are always having you over to their house. And finally, you have to go, you're the pastor!!"